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Mans’s Roar: Cupid Inches

'When Cupid shot me with his octane doped arrow'

Door: Michiel Mans, 13:41, 22 januari 2018


Do you remember when Cupid shot you with his octane doped arrow, starting a life of uncontrollable desire for fast things of beauty? I do. Vividly. It happened during my crawling phase. Usually you only have vague recollections of moving about on all fours. Well, practically speaking you provide locomotion with six tools. Hands, feet and knees. And, as in my case, a lot of elbow assistance. This early elbow experience proved very useful later in life.

One day, crawling frantically on all eights I spotted the big holy rush basket. The one with the forbidden content. Prohibition due to one of my finer abilities. Best explained by my older brothers, who used to say “What his eyes see, his fingers demolish”. So the holy basket and its contents were a no go for me.

Destructive probing

Then, Cupid intervened. I don’t know what inspired him. Maybe he thought I was worth it and possessed the right genes. Maybe he saw my fingers’ true mechanical abilities. Or maybe he was just bored. Whatever moved him, he took aim. And shot me in the ass. In reaction, I sat up on my knees and looked around. This wobbling new knee position, my highest unassisted attained altitude yet, added valuable inches to my reconnaissance capability, immensely broadening the view of the world. The arrow also made me rebellious.

From this significantly higher vantage point I could for the first time look into the holy basked. Previously, on all eights, I could only look at it, and wonder what holy content my fingers weren’t allowed to err..research. A more intelligent description for knowledge improving destructive probing.

Miniatures of cars

What I saw in the basked looked promising. It seemed the basked was filled with miniatures of cars. I knew of them. Once I almost held one. A panicked brother brutally prevented this by shoving it away shouting new and unknown words as well. “Don’t touch them with your filthy *digg fingers*”, or something sounding like that.

Excited by the discovery I went back on all eights and moved further towards the basket. There I sat up on my knees again, stabilising the position by grasping the basket’s rim with both hands. I could now look straight into it. And Holy Moses indeed, it was filled to the rim with miniature cars.

That day Cupid gave me my first encounter of the third kind. Not yet the real deal, but those Dinky Toys were the beginning. A marvellous beginning. Cupid’s added inches gave the *digg fingers* a great time. Worth every slap and vocabulary enrichment that soon followed.






Steun direct Michiel Mans

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